400 Blows Interview


I hate trying to describe a band’s sound. It’s all about cobbling together a bunch of other bands that are meant to describe some new one. As far as I can tell, that’s what rock critics do. It seems silly, in general, and completely inappropriate in this case. 400 Blows describe themselves as, “an anti-melody band.” Let’s just say they sound like your favorite pair of pants.

Fran sat down with Christian (guitar) and Skot (vocals). Ferdinand plays drums.


Andrew: When does the GSL record come out?

Christian: October.

Skot: Those two songs will probably end up on the new record, re-recorded.

A: So the Rehash record is just a re-release of Black Rainbow?

Sk: We initially released it ourselves, but of course none of us are businessmen, so there was no publicity. It was just, “We gotta get this record out, nobody wants to fucking touch it.” You know? So these guys [Rehash] came along, and they were just like, “Hey, we’re starting a new label. We don’t know you guys, but here’s the deal, 50/50, you know. Let’s do it.” It just sounded really fair, and we’re their only band. It just seemed like a can’t lose thing. I also like the fact that these guys aren’t really underground. They’re more pop music guys. They know more of the above ground stuff. I kinda like that because they don’t have these attitudes or preconceived ways about them. They just wanna sell records. They’re a record label, and they found a band that they like, that they thought…took them there. I like that cause I don’t give a fuck about underground or above ground. I wanna sell some goddam records and play some music, but I wanna do it by playing the music that we play.

A: Are you guys getting nearer to being able to just make music as a living?

Sk: No, not nearer.

C: No, not nearer.

Sam: Those clothes you play in, do they get all nasty like hockey gear?

C: I’ve got three shirts and two pairs of pants that I bring on tour to try to rotate, and it helps if we can find a laundromat, but I never seem to change. I always wear the same shirt and the same pants, just too lazy. But it gets pretty funky. It’s wool, you know; it’s hot.

Sk. When you go on tour a lot, you know, about a week, playing shows, no laundromats. You’re smelling like ass, man. Ass and death. (laughter)

S: Maybe we should go on magazine tour.

Sk: Imagine this, man, like pretty much every night, you’re, what? You’re staying at somebody’s house who you just met, who makes breakfast for you the next morning, does coke with you all night, possibly fucks you, lays a blanket over you when you pass out and you never see them again.

(laughter)

Sk: It’s fuckin...It’s beautiful.

C: Yeah, you know, it definitely, it’s um…You definitely get to know one another pretty well.

A: You guys have a van?

Sk: Yeah we have a van that’s already preshrunk. We don’t have one of those big long vans like we probably should have, like most smart bands do have. We have a little Astro van that we’ve been using since the beginning, and it’s well worn to say the least.

C: There’s only three of us, though, and we have pretty minimal equipment. We’ve been on tour with us and two other people before, and it’s alright.

Sk: There’s about a one-inch thick layer of sunflower seed schmutz all over the steering wheel and dashboard.

C: Looks like a fucking birdcage.

Sk: You don’t even want to touch that steering wheel. People ask me why I wear gloves, that’s why.

[Let’s pretend like we got to the following response a roundabout way. Let’s say we were talking about last year’s Nobel Laureates for Physics: Abrikosov, Ginzburg and Leggett and how their work in superfluidity was influenced by the 1972 laureates, Bardeen, Cooper and Schierfer’s work in superconductivity. We then realized, serendipitously, that we all share a passion for science. That’s how we got on about influences.]

C: I think we’re more inspired than influenced by bands and movies and books and art and whatever else is out there.

Sk: Musically, there’s lots of bands and people that I’m influenced by, but I don’t think of it in terms of writing our own stuff about these particular bands or people.

C: It’s funny, you know, I hear a White Stripes song and, I think, fuck, let’s make a song just like that. Let’s make a song like that big hit that’s on the radio right now. That’s how I’ll be able to quit my day job. (laughter)

Sk: You know, I listen to records–music is one of the biggest things in my life. Nine out of ten times I’m sitting in my room in my underwear and a t-shirt, getting stoned, listening to records. I’m like a teenage kid. I didn’t get to do that when I was young, so that’s what I do now. Music today has to be done so nice and so right. I don’t give a fuck if I do it wrong. I really don’t care. But the funny thing is, I do care.

C: I was going to say, that’s a lie.

Sk: I care a lot. I jump in and out. I care a lot, and I talk a lot of shit on stage cause I care so much that I have to talk shit about everybody and everything. And then I go into this, “Ah, who cares?” you know, “What am I doing? Is this really worth fighting for?” Maybe I should just go into some record [company] and suck a dick. Make some pop songs.

C: It’s hard to care…It’s more work.

Sk: It makes you wanna be a numbnut. It makes you wanna take a bunch of drugs, get on stage and make a complete ass out of yourself.

C: Some of these bands, they’ve been together for six months, and they have a manager.

Sk: A band that’s never even had a show has a manager these days and are already talking record deals. We’ve had 700 shows; we’ve been around for almost six years, and, you know, no manager. What’s a manger for? You need somebody to lace your shoes up for you. I wish somebody would just pull their head out of their ass and just be a real person. And give the people some music that really connects. But maybe people don’t want that. Maybe people want shit that lets them still drink their martini without spilling it or talk to the person next to them while the band’s playing. When I go to shows I want a band that’ll literally rip my fucking head off, but in a loving way. (laughter) Like, if you’re having sex, you wanna get fucked, you know what I’m saying? What, you want someone to caress you? No, you wanna fucking get destroyed, and then you wanna cuddle afterwards. Music doesn’t do that. There’s so many so-called rock bands. What the fuck do they destroy? They don’t destroy a goddam thing.

A: Little 13-year-old girls’ hearts, I think is what they’re destroying. Don’t you think it’s promising with labels like Rehash and GSL around LA that...

Sk: GSL was pretty surprising to be honest with you because I’ve always liked the bands on that label and we tried to get on the label once. We sent them some stuff and we got turned down and of course my immediate reaction was, “Ah fuckin assholes, but fuck it, I like their music.” And then they came and said, “Hey we wanna do your next two songs.” It was kind of funny because a week earlier somebody reviewed our CD and said, “These guys, on a good day, get all coked up after a nice practice, pat each other on the back and talk about ways to scheme up getting on GSL.” (laughs) So we’re excited about putting stuff out with GSL, definitely. But just as excited about Rehash, you know. Even though they are completely different guys, they don’t know as much about music as GSL does, but the one thing about these guys is they’re straight up. They love what they’re doing, they really want to do it. They work their asses off. They took us from a band that couldn’t sell a record outside of California to having records all over the world. So for three guys that just started a label and have no clout, they are hard working guys.

A: Do they have European distribution?

C: Yeah, it’s great. I can’t wait to go over there and play. Everybody says how well they [European venues] treat the bands. I’m ready for that. I’m tired of getting treated like shit. They have a lot of respect for the artist community. (laughs)

Sk: There’s nothing like the idea that you’re about to go on stage, and you’re about to spill your guts out, just give the best fucking show that you possibly could, and having the employees of the club not really give a fuck whether you’re there or not–it’s the most amazing feeling in the world. You can understand, cause they do this night in and night out, and they deal with a lot of assholes…

C: Well, the band’s role in most places these days is to sell beer for these people. That’s what it comes down to, and they pay you accordingly. They don’t care if what you’re doing is original, or this or that…Except for places like the Smell, where they really do care about music. They’re not a bar; they’re just a venue. It’s all ages. It’s always five bucks. There’s a certain level of integrity there…

Sk: …or Juvee; it’s too bad that place closed down. That’s the problem; they always have a hard time staying open. The law’s always on their back, or they’re always having money problems. Because it isn’t about money for them. [Juvee] didn’t make any money, and it sucks because here you’ve got somebody that really cares about music and has a place for the kids to come, as well as the adults, and just fucking let your hair down. And they close down as fast as they start up.

A: What are your day jobs?

C: I, well, I edit adult entertainment films, and I build DVD menus. And Ferdi used to be a mailman, and now he works for a company called Labor Ready. He’s basically a day laborer. Instead of standing in front of a Home Depot, he actually has an agency that contracts him out to do shit work, basically.

Sk: I wait tables in a restaurant. I make sure people’s eggs come out right.

S: Christian, the porn, is it freelance?

C: No, I work for a company.

Sk: You should see this guy’s office, man. You walk in there and it’s pictures of cowboys with big dicks all over the wall. He’s all serious, “Don’t bother me; I working, man,” You know, cowboys with big dicks, that’s redundant, man. All cowboys have big dicks.

S: So, you’re good at what you do?

C: Well it’s all rhythm. So if you know how to use a computer and understand right, it’s just like playing music. It’s putting pieces together making them work together with some sort of consistency, cohesion and rhythm. Blah blah blah blah blah, pretty much it, making it flow.

Sk: You’re gonna have a bitch of a time transcribing this. You should probably send us questions and have us write everything.

A: Yeah, we’re not exactly the most brilliant interviewers.

C: Well, we’re really creative and amusing, so we’ll do most of the work for you.

(laughter, Christian gets up for beers)

Sk: So where are you guys from?

A: I’m originally from Illinois, but we went to college together in Colorado.

S: Colorado.

Sk: So what brings you guys out here?

C: (laughs, returning) Who’s asking the questions here.

Sk: I’m just curious. I’m turning this interview around.

S: (yammer, yammer) No idea.

A: (yammer, yammer, yammer) See what LA’s like.

Sk: So have you guys ever taken a stab at this magazine thing before?

S: No.

Sk: I’ll tell you, if you wanna sell a lot of magazines…(grabs Rolling Stone with Britney Spears on the cover)

C: …(laughs) put Britney Spears on the cover with her ass sticking out?

Sk: This picture right here, I guarantee you’ll sell a lot of issues.

C: I doubt the tape recorder can pick up the visuals–the enthusiasm of Skot’s voice will come through.

S: Can you describe it for the tape recorder?

Sk: It’s Britney exposing the fact that she probably shaves herself bald…

Christian’s Wife: She probably doesn’t shave; she probably waxes.

C: She probably doesn’t have to shave yet.

Sk: Who cares?

(Everyone flips through magazine. Christian and Missus discuss cigs. Then we talk Neosporin, Gold Bond and caddy ass (swamp ass). Christian got it for the first time recently in Bali. Sam wants to invent a ass wedge to stop it. Andrew yammers a bit more. Skot explains that we should leave our nuts as the Lord intended them to be: moist. The tape flips over.)

C: Where’d you get that [tape recorder]?

S: Glendale, The Good Guys.

C: Did they bend you over for it?

S: Fuckin A.